My Boyfriend Criticizes what I eat then, first of all, you should tell him or talk to him calmly that he is hurting your feelings and he is body shaming you.
There is a difference between caring and criticizing.
If someone says out of care it’s different but when someone says out of criticism you will know.
Whether it’s someone from your family or your boyfriend you will know whether they are saying it out of care or out of criticism.
When someone is caring for you they will not mock you or they will not say things which will hurt you, they will make you understand things lovingly not by taunting or anything.
So you should be able to make a difference between caring and mocking.
Then second of all you should leave him, I mean even if you love him or you both love each other, you will not mock or taunt your girlfriend, if he even loves you or likes you,
he will accept you as you are.
In a relationship there are sacrifices, but there is a difference, that you have to sacrifice in a relationship but you don’t have to sacrifice yourself to make them happy.
First, you have to be happy then only you can be happy in a relationship.
And even though, no matter how much you like that person you should not be with the one who controls you, taunts you, or has an opinion on everything.
And even if you don’t eat much then also your boyfriend criticizes what you eat then he is the one with the problem.
If you are a foodie and you like to eat and try new food recipes and with all the work and home sometimes it’s hard to control on weight then if your boyfriend doesn’t understand you say you eat a lot or says that I care about you that’s why I say to eat healthily but you know he is not saying out of care he is taunting you.
And even if you don’t eat that much then also your boyfriend criticizes what you eat and he has been saying this a lot nowadays almost every time and you don’t feel good that your boyfriend is the one who is body shaming you and it’s hurting you.
I am going to tell you if you have a toxic relationship with food.
And I am going to tell you if your boyfriend is caring or criticizing your food habits, or if you have an unhealthy relationship.
Here are some reasons to know why my boyfriend criticizes what I eat.
- Whenever you are eating you have some type of guilt in your mind.
- All you can think about is food almost all the time.
- You are binging on food.
- You feel embarrassed about eating food in public.
- You are always eating the same old thing, not trying new things.
- You define food as “good” and “bad”
1. Whenever you are eating you have some type of guilt in your mind.
Whenever you are having food no matter what you are eating you have some type of guilt in your mind about eating food.
Then that’s your first sign that you have an unhealthy relationship with food.
You should not feel guilty about whatever you eat, it’s wrong, you are the only one who is making yourself feel stressed and guilty.
You should enjoy eating food, you should be happy whenever you are having a meal.
2. All you can think about is food almost all the time.
Everyone thinks about food it’s not news, but if you are thinking about food a lot it can be irritating.
If you are thinking about food all the time, when you are working, studying, after having your meal and while having your food then also you are thinking about food.
Well, there are some reasons why you might be thinking about food a lot lately.
There are two pathways, which pathway is triggering you and making you think about food often?
1st is the Homeostatic pathway
2nd is the hedonic pathway
- HOMEOSTATIC PATHWAY.
This one you may experience when you have a calorie deficit, it happens because you don’t have enough calories in your body and it needs energy so that’s your body’s way of telling you to have enough calories which will maintain your metabolism function.
- HEDONIC PATHWAY
This causes food cravings, particularly food which is high in fat, desserts, fried food, you feel like eating food which is spicy, or full of sugars etc.
This craving can be caused by your surroundings, environment, or you saw something in an ad.
So these were some symptoms of you thinking about food all the time.
3. You are binging on food.
Binging on food means you are overeating means you didn’t plan on eating this much but you ended up eating 2 whole packets of chips.
Binging on food occasionally is not the problem you will have just stomach ache but when you start binging on food every day then there might be some problems.
First of all, if you haven’t noticed yet and your boyfriend did it and you might be thinking why is he saying that suddenly all the time, it’s irritating right someone saying something to you about how much you are eating he should not say it but he might be noticing it that you have been binging on your food regularly and he is concerned, so maybe that’s why he is saying that to you, so, first of all, you have to notice yourself that are you doing it regularly, and if you realize that you are doing it regularly then there might be some problem.
If you find yourself binge eating regularly then you might have a binge eating disorder, even if you are not hungry then also you are binge eating even when you had your favourite food then also you are binge eating later and you might have a Binge Eating Disorder.
There are some causes which will affect your health if you are binge eating regularly.
- You will gain weight
There is no new news that you will gain weight if you will binge eat regularly.
You will get overweight and because of that, you will have to face some health issues.
- You will get heart disease
If you become overweight your risk for heart disease increases, and you will get high blood pressure and high cholesterol. You are more likely to have heart disease if you will binge eat junk food and sweets, which will affect your health sooner or later.
- You might get type 2 diabetes.
Because of binge eating all the junk food in 1 or 2 hours non-stop regularly, your chances of getting type 2 diabetes will increase.
The reason for your binge eating could be that you may be depressed, something happening in your life which is very personal to you and it’s affecting you and that’s why you are binge eating.
Or maybe you think that you gained a lot of weight and people may be commenting on that a lot and it’s hurting you and even your boyfriend is saying that you have gained weight and that’s why it’s hurting you a lot and that’s why you are depressed and that why you are binge eating and your boyfriend, is not realizing what is happening to you, you are just overthinking and eating and crying and when you need someone close at that time and your boyfriend turned his back at that time.
So if you realize that you are binge eating and you are depressed then please take help from your family or friends or take help from a doctor.
4. You feel embarrassed about eating food in public.
You feel shy when you are eating in front of everybody, you are scared of what other people will say about your eating habits.
Will they make fun of what you are eating, how you are eating or how much you are eating?
Or you have a party to go to tomorrow and you are cancelling your plan because you have to eat there in front of everybody and you are insecure about how you look while eating.
If this is all you are thinking then you have to stop feeling embarrassed about how you eat or what you eat.
Even if people judge you, ignore them. It’s about your happiness, it’s about what you like, and it is going to be tough to stop feeling embarrassed but you have to, in the end, it’s about you and nobody else.
5. You are always eating the same old thing, not trying new things.
When the time comes to order food or something you always order the same old thing, maybe because you have anxiety.
Or you might even have an ARFID phobia. You can not ignore this phobia; it is like another type of phobia only.
Who has this phobia, and wants to try new food but cannot?
So you can go to the doctor and talk about it, it is treatable.
6. You define food as “good” and “bad”
You may have categorized food into two types: good and bad.
If your mood is not good or you are sad so you try to cheer yourself up with good food, you say you will order or go out somewhere you categorized that the food at home is not good.
And then later when you are on a diet you say junk food is not good, it’s bad for your health.
It’s wrong you are not supposed to categorize food as good or bad, there you make an unhealthy relationship with food.
So next time when you try to do it remember it’s not good.
Or your boyfriend says that why you’re eating junk food it’s not good for you, you should start eating healthy there. He categorised food as good and bad and he made you feel embarrassed he was supposed to tell you in an understanding way not make you feel guilty about it.
Now I am going to tell you if you have an unhealthy relationship with your boyfriend or whether your boyfriend is caring or criticizing.
- He is making you feel embarrassed about your habits.
- He controls you.
- He doesn’t respect you.
- Mental abuse
- He is making you feel embarrassed about your habits.
He often criticizes you for your normal behaviour, even though you did everything he didn’t like still, he is not satisfied then he is not a good boyfriend.
He may say that he loves you and all but his behaviour says everything.
He might even have taunted you about how much you eat or he might have said many times that you eat junk food a lot, he may even have called you fat indirectly and he did it whenever you were eating then you feel embarrassed or guilty for eating.
He should not have said that, he is criticizing what you eat.
If he would have cared about you then you would not have felt guilty or embarrassed for eating whatever you like.
You have to confront him, that his behaviour is hurting you and making you feel bad.
- He controls you.
He always controls you, he tries to manipulate you about whatever decision you are taking for anything.
He thinks that everything should happen according to him only, he wants to control you.
He tells you what you should eat and what you should not, what you should be doing for your life or what you should eat for dinner, and if you are craving your favourite food or junk food and he stops you he says you don’t have to eat it.
If he cares for you he will not control you or boss you around, there is a difference between caring and controlling you have to understand that difference.
- He doesn’t respect you
He does not respect you, he doesn’t care about you he will have something bad to say to you, and not good will come out from him.
He is always saying about your eating behaviour, even though you are healthy, you go to the gym you take care of your body then also whenever you eat something which is not healthy he has to say about it criticise you on what you are eating calling you fat.
So yes, respect in a relationship is very important, if you both will respect each other then only you both can love each care for each other and enjoy life together if there will be no respect then the relationship will not long last.
- Mental abuse
maybe your boyfriend is mentally abusing you, he is making you feel bad or worse about yourself.
He is controlling you manipulating you stopping you from doing things because according to him is not good.
If your boyfriend is criticising you on what you eat, always making you feel fat, embarrassed and hurt then he is mentally abusing you.
You have to confront him about his behaviour because it will affect you very soon.
Now I am going to answer some questions which have been asked frequently and I hope they will be helpful for you.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs)
- How would you feel about a boyfriend commenting on your eating habits when you aren’t out of shape?
The feeling will be hurt, guilt, embarrassment, anger towards him, that he is your boyfriend then also he is criticizing how you eat or what you are eating.
He should not pass any comments on what you eat, if he says it out of care then you will not feel guilty or ashamed, you will know he is saying it in criticism so you should confront him about this.
If he is not accepting what he is doing to you then you better know what is good for you and what is not.
- If your husband said to you, “You eat too much and need to lose weight,” how would you respond? Would you be angry with him and tell him it’s none of his business or say, “You’re right. I will eat less and lose weight”?
Yes, of course, you will be angry and you will feel guilty about eating, because of him you will not feel like eating again you will be constantly thinking about what he said.
Nobody is supposed to say this to anyone about how much you eat or you have gotten fat. It’s body shaming, and then whoever said that you are getting fat eating a lot of food, will affect your mental health and you will get depressed if your husband does not understand you and criticizes your eating behavior.
Even if our parents say a lot of times that you have gotten fat a lot and they have said it many times and it turned your feeling that your parents are supposed to understand you but they are the one who is saying so it hurts.
And when your husband does the same and constantly says this then you lose little respect for him and instead of falling in love more and more your love for him will not grow.
So yes you have to talk to him about this, tell him that yes it’s your body, and. And you know very well what is happening to your body and instead of criticizing, he should support you.
There is a difference between love and control.
I’ll explain it to you with an example.
Your parents love you so much that they will do anything for you when you are born. Then only they decide that when you grow up you will be studying this profession or that.
But when you grow up your parents said that you will have to study science they want you to be a doctor, but you didn’t want to, your parents want to control your life they want you to do what they wish and they love you so you thought they are saying this for your good but when you grew up more you realize that you don’t want to study science you want to study something else you want to do something else in your life you just don’t want to be a doctor when you said them, there were conflicts and you realize that was not love that was control.
So you have to understand that your boyfriend is caring for you or just controlling you, he wants to control you, he wants you to eat whatever he wishes, and he is criticizing what you are eating and that is making you hurt, you are in stress because of him, so talk to him about this.