Wondering why your boyfriend disappears when he is stressed, this article can help you to get your satisfactory answer.
Not only boys, there are so many women also, who do not want to deal with anything, when they are stressed. Some people like to stay alone, stay away from the mess and chaos to get some relief from the stressful world. This is their way of dealing with problems. And we cannot criticize them but the problem arises when they are in a relationship.
People often fail to understand that their lives change after getting into a relationship. The way he used to deal with problems will also change because now he has someone in life. Your boyfriend is also suffering from the same issue. He is not able to manage his professional and personal life properly, and you, as his partner, can help him to balance it.
But before doing that, you need to understand the reasons why he disappears when he is stressed.
Let’s get into the reasons…
5 reasons Why Your Boyfriend Disappears When Stressed
- He has an escapist mindset
A person with an escapist mind often fears facing problems. This is their tendency and you cannot help it with anything.
Your boyfriend is probably an escapist minded person. He fears to handle problems that have already been created and what he is stressed about. He likes to stay alone when he is stressed because he is doubtful and fearful about himself and about the situation. In this case, you need to understand that your boyfriend is dealing with some psychological issue, not so severe but yes, it can lead to some serious mental illness.
An escapist mind will always be fearful and full of doubts, and that is something which can create problems in his day to day life also. He thinks that he can get relief from stress if he avoids people. But we all know that it is not the case actually. Problems can be solved by discussing and talking to people but the escapist mindset of your boyfriend will definitely pull him back from doing so.
- He does not think you capable enough to understand what he is going through
Maybe your boyfriend does not think you are worthy enough to share his problems with you. It is a matter of understanding. He considers you as inferior to him and so he does not bother to tell you about his issues.
He thinks himself capable enough to deal with all his problems alone. This is also a kind of self-centered mentality. Your boyfriend definitely doesn’t count you as his behalf and so he stays away from you regarding this discussion.
There are so many people who think that girls are not capable of understanding their work-life problems. And especially if the girls are homemakers or stay indoors then it becomes easier for men to consider them as inferior to them. People need to get out of this mentality soon.
Your boyfriend may have the same mentality and in this case it’ll not be easier to change his mentality all of a sudden.
- He does not want suggestions
There are so many people who like to stay away from the chaos because they don’t want to get suggestions. Maybe your boyfriend wants the same.
He disappears when he is stressed out. He does not want any suggestions from you or he does not even want to discuss the matter with you. That is why he disappears.
Your boyfriend is unable to understand the fact that it is not possible for him to solve every problem and by doing so he will get more stressed. Discussing problem with you or taking suggestions from you may help him to get over the problem soon and he will no longer be stressed.
- He loves to stay alone
There are so many people who love to stay alone. They do not consider them as a committed person and so he can share all his ups and downs with his partner. Your browser can be that type of person.
Your boyfriend loves to stay alone and so he does not let himself feel committed. He thinks he will get everything done all by himself. He does not need anyone by his side to support him. This kind of mentality often makes a man alone.
Your boyfriend disappears when stressed because he thinks he is capable enough to deal with all the problems.
A person who loves to stay alone will disappear not only when he is stressed but it will happen more often because he does not like human company.
- He fears to get judged
Maybe your boyfriend thinks that if he tells you the reason why he is stressed, he may get judged and that is why he disappears.
No person wants to get judged neither we want to judge them, but knowingly or unknowingly we often judge people and maybe you too do that. Probably you think that you are never judgemental with him but your boyfriend feels that he is being judged by you and that is why he disappears from the scene.
Maybe unintentionally you make some comments on his failure or on his work instead of trying to know the reason why he is stressed. He disappears because he does not want to get judged at that time.
Now a question arises…
How to handle the situation when your boyfriend disappears?
See you are not the only person who is dealing with this issue. There are so many women out there who are dealing with this problem everyday. It is a bit tough to handle the situation but not so difficult. You have to take the matter with maturity.
If your boyfriend disappears because he thinks he will get judged, then you have to convince him that you are not going to judge him no matter what happens. Maybe you’re not judgemental but sometimes we do such things unknowingly so be careful about that. But if you have a habit of judging him then you must change that habit first.
Your boyfriend doesn’t want suggestions and so he disappears. If this is the problem then don’t give him suggestions directly. Instead tell him how you would react if you would be in that situation. That will make him realise his fault and can also give him relief from his stress.
But if your boyfriend thinks that you’re not capable to understand his problem or you are inferior to him then you have to make him realise your worth. Do something that can make him understand that you’re not inferior rather you are equal to him.
Don’t imprison yourself within the four walls of your house. Get a life apart from that and you’ll make yourself compatible enough for him.
Why does he come on strong and then disappear?
You need to understand that men deal with their problems differently than women do. Some men really stay firm and tough to their problems initially but when he sees that he is unable to control the situation or the situation is going out of his hands, he disappears. Your boyfriend is having the same reason.
Initially your boyfriend thinks that he can solve or deal with the problem easily but gradually he is realising that he is no longer be able to control the situation so he disappears, maybe out of shyness that being a man he cannot deal with problems. Or he fears that he will get judged by people or by his close ones.
A man of often deals with his inner mental problem. Your boyfriend is not the exception. He doesn’t want to show his weakness to the world and that is why he pretends to be more strong but you know this is the case. Men are usually very lonely inside. We just think that he is a man so he can deal with anything. He cannot be so weak and this thought of ours actually makes him weaker.
You need to understand him and his way of dealing with problems. Trust him on this matter that he can handle everything if he can get you by his side every time. You have to give him this faith also.
Now an another question related to this topic is that- is it everytime work pressure that makes a man stressed or is it because of relationship sometimes?
Let’s have a look into this matter also…
Can a man be too stressed for a relationship?
Of course he can. Why not! A bad relationship always gives negative vibration and make a man stressed enough.
A person gets into the relationship because he is in love and he too wants love, support and care. But instead of getting all these things, your man starts getting negligence, stress and carefree life, that will definitely make him stressed.
If you feel that your boyfriend is facing the same problem, you as his partner need to give him break from all these issues.
Be supportive and gentle with him as much as you can. Don’t judge him too often instead support his works. If he does anything wrong, don’t just jump on pointing out that, instead tell him that this is the better way he can do this also.
Embrace him with love, affection and care. Don’t let him feel stressed with the relationship. You have to understand that there are so many responsibilities that a man has and so your boyfriend too. You just cannot add the stess of relationship with that. You should not actually. If your man does not find peace within you or in the relationship then there is no point being in that relationship. Right?
Keep these things in your mind.
Let’s now answer some Frequently Asked Questions….
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)- Boyfriend Disappears When Stressed.
My boyfriend disappears for hours.
This often happens with couples. They come and tell that their boyfriends disappear for hours and then come back so freely that it seems like nothing happens. Why is it so?
Your boyfriend disappears maybe because he is stressed and after spending sometime with himself he finds a solution to the problem and then he comes back with a free mind. Or probably he wants to be alone for sometime.
These are absolutely fine until he is not ignoring you. People need their personal space and if your boyfriend asks you for that, you should give him and should never intrude there.
When a guy is overwhelmed.
This is an interesting question. When a guy is overwhelmed, he can react in many different ways. He can promise you the world also but don’t take everything very seriously because some people lack thinking rationally and practically if they are overwhelmed. Your boyfriend can belong to this category.
When he disappears let him go
You can do it sometimes. Because if he wants his space it will be wrong to hold him. Instead let him go and wait to see his reaction when he comes back.
Boyfriend disappears for days
This is a matter of concern. If your boyfriend disappears for days then this is a suspicious matter. Try to know where he had been for days and if he gives you a satisfactory answer then ok otherwise keep an eye on him.
It is a request to all the boys out there that don’t just disappear when you are stressed. Talk to your partner and you may get the necessary help. Escaping is not the solution. You have to face the situation.
Girls also need to be careful about their partners and relationships. You have to take care of your boyfriend, especially his mental health. When your boyfriend is stressed with something, avoid discussing your problems with him, which we often do.
Try to console him in every possible way. Don’t judge him for anything. Everyone has his own way of dealing with problems and you too have. Don’t get offended by that. If your boyfriend demands some time to get settled, then give him that. Don’t force him to say anything until he wants to say it. Just pat his back and make him realise that whatever happens you are there with him and will always be there too.