How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Am Gay

Being stuck into a relationship where you are not feeling the right is definitely a problem that will affect your mental health as well as physical health; and if you know that you’re not feeling right because you’re gay, then it is high time to answer the most important question i.e. How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Am Gay.

Maybe you’re feeling awkward or shy to tell him about you being Gay , but one day you’ve to tell him about your feelings. You know that this is something you cannot hold for a long time. And this article is for helping you about How do you tell your boyfriend that you are GAY? 

In this article I’m going to discuss about 5 stepson how to tell your boyfriend that you’re gay. 

5 steps to tell your boyfriend that you are gay 

  1. Think about what you are and what you want. 

The first step to tell your boyfriend about you being gay is to think about yourself first. Have a nice self-talk and ask yourself what you are actually, and when you feel that you are a gay. Knowing these things are really important, initially for you and of course to tell your partner then. You also need to know how you realised that you are more into girls rather than boys.

First you have to be crystal clear about your feelings and intentions. There is also a thing that you may have to face that your boyfriend will definitely ask you if you knew from earlier that you are more into girls rather than boys, then what was the point of getting into a relationship? This is a very obvious question. You’ve to be prepare for this also. 

Because of these impending situations, self-talk is really important. You’ve to tell him when you realize  that you need to be with someone who is of your same gender and how you are feeling so confident about this. 

How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Am Gay
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Be clear about what you want. Life is very serious when it comes to dealing with any kind of relationship. You are currently in a relationship with a boy and he loves you so obviously it will be difficult for him to hear all these.

Probably he might also think about getting married to you and all of his dreams are going to be shattered so be extremely careful about what decision you are going to take. It is not like giving a chance to yourself and to life. You may not get another fair chance to deal with yourself. So take your time. Talk to yourself, spend time with yourself and then think of any further decision. 

  1. Think about how your partner is going to react.

It is very important to assume the situation that is going to take place. If you decide beforehand that this is the situation that you are going to face, then it may be a bit easier for you to deal with. 

First prepare what you are going to tell your boyfriend. Just like preparing a speech. Obviously you will have to face a lot of questions and probably humiliations. Assume some of them before and prepare how you are gonna handle those questions.

Then you need to think about how your partner is going to react after hearing all these things. You have to console him. He may burst out into anger. He may say so many things to you and you also know that all these things are justified. It is not only about your life and feelings but obviously another person is also involved.

As I have said that he might have thought about marrying you and after this he will not be able to accept that his future wife is a gay. This will be very tough for him. 

He may burst into tears also. He thinks you to be his everything but now the situation has taken a drastic change that he cannot handle so smoothly. You have to think about all these things earlier and also have to prepare yourself to deal with them. 

You have to make him understand that you too were unaware about this until you get into this relationship and now when you know what you are then you don’t want to ruin his life by staying in a relationship where he will be unhappy and dissatisfied. 

  1. Talk to one of your friends first.

Talking to one of your friends about this matter will be a bit helpful for you before confessing to your boyfriend. 

But make sure whom you are sharing this matter with must be a trustworthy person. He or she, whoever the person is, should guide you in a proper way regarding this matter and obviously the person will be your confidante. 

Share your thoughts and feelings with him and see how he reacts. Tell him everything and ask him what you need to do in account with the present situation. Take necessary suggestions from him. 

Keep one thing in mind that the person with whom you’re going to share everything should not be judgmental at all. Instead he must understand you and also has to be supportive. Otherwise the situation may take another turn and that may not be in your favour. 

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  1. Make sure your boyfriend knows everything from you first.

It is very important that your boyfriend knows everything first for you. Many times it happens that he gets to know everything about your friends or from someone else. That is something you need to stay super careful about. 

The relationship is between you two and so it is obviously very disappointing when the person comes to know about his partner from any other person. 

Prepare yourself for whatever is going to happen, good or bad. Then tell him everything by meeting him physically. Don’t take phone calls or messages as a way to reciprocate. Meet him and speak your heart in front of him. 

  1. Talk to him with patience and end your relationship on a happy note.

Obviously when you’ll tell your boyfriend that you are a gay and because of this reason you cannot keep the relation any further, he is not gonna react in a very friendly way. He will be shocked and angry as well. This is where you need to be calm and careful.

Deal with each and every emotion with patience and calmness. It is very obvious that he will react and it is totally justified. You have to deal with that. 

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Make him realise that you respect him and his feelings and because of this when you realise that you are no longer able to be in this relationship then you think of telling him first because you respect his feelings. 

Tell him that whatever you have for him in your mind is genuine and nothing fake. Show him your respect. Tell him that you will remain his friend forever if he wants. Try to end the relationship on a happy note where you two can have mutual respect for each other. 

Ending a relationship with bitterness will change the outlook of both of you and that is something should never happen. Have respect and love for each other and remain in good touch with each other. 

These are the some easy steps which you can follow to have a hearty conversation with your boyfriend about you being gay. But be careful not to hurt his feelings or get angry about anything. Show respect, love and understanding in the matter. You have to deal with everything with maturity. 

How do I tell my boyfriend that I like girls?

See you cannot be in a relationship where you don’t feel the urge to be in. You are more into girls that is okay and normal. Everyone has his own likes and dislikes. You have to accept that. 

When you’re going to speak to your boyfriend make sure you are clear about yourself- your thoughts and about your sexuality. Don’t get anything done in a hurry. Take your time and know yourself more. 

Try to tell him by meeting him physically. Don’t do phone calls or text messages. Don’t convey this through anyone. 

Be brave and courageous enough to face all the situations coming. Don’t lose temper. Be calm and understanding. Understand the reason of your Boyfriend anger and try to console him. 

Don’t just hurry. Be respectful and gentle to your partner. Respect his feelings. Try to end on a happy note. 

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Let’s now answer some Frequently Asked Questions…..

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) – How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Am Gay? 

I think I’m a lesbian. How do I tell my live-in boyfriend?

See, first you have to be very clear about what you want. It’s not about what you think or feel. It is about what you actually are and what you want. Make decisions very wisely. Your decision will also involve the other person’s emotions. Take your time, be confident and mentally prepared enough to face the situation and then go ahead. 

How to break up with my boyfriend because I think I’m gay?

You have to end the relationship on a good note with no bitterness and hatred for each other. While talking about this matter show utmost love and respect to your partner’s feelings. Be patient. Make him understand this is not like a normal break-up that random couples do, it is taking a leave from a relationship where you were not comfortable.

I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend that I’m gay.

This is really very hard to confess. But you need to understand that at the end of the day you have to confess because you cannot hold something you don’t feel in your heart. Be courageous and confident and speak to him by meeting him physically. 


Being a gay is not something to be ashamed of. It is absolutely normal and fine to be a lesbian or gay. But what you need to do first is to accept the fact that you are gay. I have seen so many girls, even boys, feeling ashamed to accept their sexuality. 

If you’re one of those who feel ashamed to accept what you are, you need to overcome this first. Love yourself, accept what you truly are. Spend more time with yourself, explore your feelings and thoughts. 

There is so much about ourselves that we don’t know. We need to explore them more and more. 

If you are a gay, then it is possible that you may get judged, ridiculed or abused sometimes. But you’ve to stand for yourself. Respect your feelings and respect your decisions. 

Don’t get ashamed to tell your boyfriend about your feelings. Be brave and live a happy life the way you want to live. 

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