Swimming with Sharks? Jumping up off the Grand Canyon? Walking on coal? Nothing could be trickier than this moment in your life. Unless you have gone through this article where I tell you How to Tell Your Parents That You Have a Boyfriend in 5 Easy Steps!
The steps are so easy! Like a piece of cake.
So, let’s start with it.
How to Tell Your Parents That You Have a Boyfriend:
1. First introduce him as your friend:
Before telling your parents that you are in love and you have a boyfriend, introduce your partner to your parents as your chum.
Do not rush into it. Parents take a little time to warm up to the fact that their little girl could have a relationship with the opposite sex in a very non-platonic way. So, let them first reconcile with the fact that you have a male friend.
And most importantly, do not conceal the fact that you talk and hangout with him. Do not be secretive about him at all. Because keeping this completely a secret, points out guilt and might make your parents think that you are doing something wrong.
So, do not let them have that assumption at all. Rather be casual and open about him when talking with him or about him. All the while insisting that he is your friend.
This is also the safest approach because it gives you ample time to evaluate whether he is someone that you see yourself being in a long-term relationship with and want your parents to know about the relationship.
And once you are sure of both the fact that he is the man for you and that your parents have warmed up towards him and like him as well, just simply tell them. And then you shouldn’t face much resistance from them because they already know him as your friend.
2. Draw parallels from their relationship:
Parents love to talk about their younger days. Especially about their love-story and courtship. Even your parents must have told you a hundred times how they met, fell in love and got together.
And some things you must have observed yourself. The little romantic nuances of your parents’ life, the things they love about each other and do for each other. So, use all this information to make your relationship sound similar to theirs when you confess about being in a relationship such as theirs.
Tell your mother how he takes care of you the way your father takes care of her. And tell your father all the things your boyfriend does for you just like your mom does for him.
Just the way they tell their love-story, you should also say a similar one. Draw the parallels and insist that he looks at you full of love just the way your parents gaze at each other.
Adding more to that, praise their marriage and how they are with each other and tell them that they have inspired you and made you realise what true love looks like. Praise their relationship as much as you want and do not be shy.
Then, let them know that you have found that exactly with your boyfriend. And by this time they will be so emotional while reminiscing about their love that they will be happy for you to have found the love of your life. Just like them.
3. Make them feel they have control:
One of the main issues that parents take with their children having a partner is the fact that their child is growing up to be an adult no longer to be under their wings.
They feel like an outsider in your life, as if they have no say in any of your decisions. This makes them harder to approach and more susceptible to saying no to anything you ask.
Hence, just going up to them and directly saying to them that you have a boyfriend will end up turning into a huge argument between you and your parents. So, it is important that you let them feel as if they have a say in your decision pertaining to your love life.
Tell them about this man that you like and are close to. About how he is the sweetest and most amazing person ever. Then say to them that he has asked you out and you really, really want to go on a date with him but want their permission first.
While disclosing all these things, you must also pander to them and say about how you need their invaluable guidance, how important their opinion is, that you would never do anything that would ever hurt them or go against them.
Also do not forget to heap praises upon the man you want to go out.
Due to all those praises and your pandering to them, they will feel good about the decision-making power that they have and give you permission to date him.
If you want to involve them further, so as to there is no way they cannot back out from saying yes, then you can ask them for their suggestions on first date ideas, where to go, what to wear, etc.
Whether you follow these suggestions is completely up to you, but as long as your parents feel that they have all the control, all’s good!
4.Show them you are a responsible adult:
They say that no matter how much you grow up, for your parents you will always be their baby. And that is 100% true.
But if you ask me, the reason for this phenomenon is that in front of the whole we are independent adults, capable of making our decisions. But, when with our parents we instantly become spoiled babies, demanding things, pouting and crying, just a little short of sitting in their laps.
In that case, how can you expect your parents to see you as a responsible adult? And it totally makes sense that once you tell them about your boyfriend, they would freak out. Because they still see you as a baby who can barely take care of herself, and who is in no position to enter into a non-platonic, adult relationship.
So, in this method what you will have to do is change their perception towards you. Make them see that you are well capable of handling life.
Hence, what you will have to do is that, take part in family discussion of problems. Whether political or social matters show your parents that you have a well-formed mature opinion. Clean up after yourself, complete all your chores and help them with theirs. Instead of going to them with your own set of problems try to solve theirs.
Also, do not argue or talk back. Rather have a conversation with them like an adult, if there is some kind of disagreement. This will really make them see you as a responsible individual.
And then, again in a mature way you can tell them about having a boyfriend.
5. First confess to only one of them:
As children whenever asked, “Who do you love more? Mom or Dad?”, without a doubt our answer was, “Both!”. And that is indeed true. We love them both dearly and equally.
But…..there’s only one out of the two that we are closer to, in a way that friends are. Sharing everything, asking their opinions, gossiping and bonding over all the same things that you love.
So, first you need to go to that parent, who you are closer to and feel more comfortable with sharing such things with. And tell them that there is a boy that you like, and that they are the first one to know about him. This will give your chosen parent a sense of superiority to know that you trust them more and can be so open with them.
And again pander to them on this point. Let your parent know that you see them as your best-friend, someone that you can share all your secrets with.
Also remember to do this when they are in a good mood, in a sweet moment when both of you were bonding over something. Because then this confession will seem like a process of bonding.
You can even incorporate any of the other methods that I have listed before and use it on only one of them instead of both. Like drawing a parallel between their relationship and yours, showcasing yourself as an adult and making them feel they have control. You can target one of your parents and use all or any of these methods and to tell them about having a boyfriend.
And the serious plus side of this method is that, once you have said about your relationship to one of your parents, your work is done.
Now, it is their job and responsibility to break it out to their spouse that you are in a relationship.
6. Consult a Relationship Expert:
If all else fails or you are worried to try the above steps what you can do is chat with a relationship expert to guide you best for this!
Because there might be some underlying issues that you have with your parents, which might prove to be a grievous obstacle in the way of your relationship. So, in that case it is best to take the help of a relationship expert who will professionally help you to sort out all your emotional relations and issues.
If you ask me I would recommend to you JustAnswers.com which is only available in the USA all you need to do is just click here to chat with a relationship expert now!
Now let me answer some of your questions related to telling about your boyfriend to your parents
Should I tell my parents I have a boyfriend?
Yes, you need to open up about your relationship with your parents, just don’t try to hide it from them.
Also, tell them about the right situation and at the right time.
Your relationship might get into a confident phase when you tell about your boyfriend to your parents.
How Long should I wait to tell my parents about my boyfriend?
Don’t open up about your relationship with your parents until you believe it’s a serious relationship.
Make sure you are confident about each other and it’s a serious commitment.
Take your own time, don’t rush things.
How can I hide my boyfriend from my parents?
If you don’t want to let your parents know about your relationship and your boyfriend, don’t talk on the phone for a long time, they might suspect.
Don’t hang out together nearby, as there are chances that someone whom you know might see you, so, hang out in some places where less crowd gathers, and have a safe locker for all your apps on your mobile.
One thing that you must remember as a child is that whatever our parents do, they do it for you, for your happiness and never in a million years to hurt you.
Although sometimes they can be a little headstrong and stubborn in seeing things your way, especially if it involves a romantic relationship with someone. In that case, remember all those times when they were so patient and understanding with you when you used to throw tantrums as a kid.
Therefore, now that you are an adult they deserve your patience and understanding as well. Understand where they are coming from and their concern for you. Because no one else will love you as much as these two people do.
And follow the steps above and let me know how it goes, have a query or wanna ask something from me personally? Comment below and keep the conversation going! Also read: How Often Should You See Your Boyfriend?