Husband Is Only Nice When He Wants Something

This is one of the most common problems that everyone gets to hear, that My Husband is only nice when he wants something. 

A conjugal life should be based on mutual understanding and mutual respect so there should be no time when your man is nice to you because he wants something from you. This is definitely a sign of negligence and of course disrespect. A relationship can never be based on wanting. But yes, there will be demands; in the form of love, care, affection and understanding, not like if he wants something he’ll treat you nicely, otherwise not! 

If you’re one of those ladies who are really fed up with this kind of behavior of your husbands, this article may help you to lead a proper life thoroughly…

There are 10 reasons why your husband is nice to you only when he wants something.

  1. He is selfish
  2. He is self-centered
  3. He is dominating
  4. You’ve been used by him
  5. He only wants to get physical
  6. He is inclined to any other women
  7. You’ve lost your dignity and position
  8. He is extremely boastful by nature
  9. Your conjugal relationship is at stake
  10. There is already a presence of another woman

Let’s go in detail to find out what problem you’re dealing with your husband..

  • He is selfish

Your husband’s nice behaviour with you only when he is in need of something clearly shows your husband’s selfish nature. 

A selfish person never cares about anyone else’s feelings but only focuses on himself. If this happens with you every time that whenever your husband comes to know, he only asks for something and that too of his personal interest, then definitely you’re dealing with a selfish man. 

Selfishness is a trait of a person which can form his behaviour. Your husband’s selfish nature will never allow him to love you. Selfish man can never love anyone. Now a question arises why? The simple answer is the life of a simple person totally depends on a generous number of conditions and we all know that Love is unconditional. So your selfish husband can never give you that love and care which you crave for. 

And his behaviour will also do the same. 

According to these are the10 signs of a selfish husband

  • He is self-centered

Besides being selfish in nature, your husband is also a self-centered person, that is why he behaves nicely with you, only when he thinks that you can be beneficial to his personal interest. People of this nature neither can stay happy, nor can make anyone happy. Because they don’t know the meaning of happiness. 

A self-centered person always runs for fulfilling his own interest and so it is obvious that you will never get that love and care and of course respect from your husband, as his wife. 

His self-centered interest can be anything, like he has invited his friends to the house so he needs you to cook and he has to go for some with a partner and so he is being nice to you as you need to go with him. Everything will be based on what he wants and how the course of action will benefit him. 

  • He is dominating

A dominating husband can also behave nicely and gently with you but this will again be a course of domination. He is doing well with you but not because he has changed his dominating nature but because he has something to be done by you. 

Husband Is Only Nice When He Wants Something
Source: Getty Images

Domination is a way of controlling, and if your husband has a tendency of dominating you, he can do it with nice behaviour also. He will get his work done anyway. 

  • You’ve been used by him

If your husband is always doing this kind of behaviour like he is being nice to you when he wants something, then it is clear to some extent that you’ve been used by him just to fulfill his personal interest. 

Everytime he comes and asks you something politely and nicely and you, too, agree to do the work because you love him and also you are very much aware of the fact also that, this good behaviour will only last until his work gets fulfilled. This is the kind of life you’re living with your husband where you’ve been used most of the time. 

  • He only wants to get physical

This is one of the most common reasons why your husband is nice to you. Most of the men tend to take care of their wives or behaves with them nicely only when they want sex or they want to get intimate. 

If you go and ask about this problem to other women also, you’ll get this fact as a common thing. Some women also don’t mind if this happens with them on a regular basis. But, this is a problem indeed. 

One thing you need to understand first; that is, in a conjugal relationship intimacy is one of the most needful things but if your husband behaves nice with you just because he wants you in bed, this seriously implies a strong conjugal disharmony. 

Source: Getty Images

If everything is okay between you both, you two are leading a very close and intimate life then he can ask you to get intimate at any point of time because there’s is matter of mutual understanding and respect, but if there is nothing right between you both but you and your husband only come closer when he wants sex, then this is a matter of concern and trust me IT IS. 

  • He is inclined to any other women

This can also be a reason why your husband is being nice to you. Probably your man is somewhere inclined to any other women and he wants to keep you unaware about the fact and because of this he is behaving nicely with you and in this matter his self-interest is that he wants to balance both side and also he wants to maintain his reputation that he is betraying his wife. 

Again, this can also happen that you have already got to know about his inclination to any other women, and he knows the fact and because of this reason he tries to be nice to you so that you don’t tell anyone about this or you, yourself do not create any problem in his life because of what his reputation can get hampered.

  • You’ve lost your dignity and position

As a wife, you should hold a position in the life of your husband, in every sphere of his life. That’s what the role of a better-half should have. 

But being nice only in times of need and other times having zero importance definitely means you have lost your position in the relationship. 

Your husband is not considering you as a part of his life anymore. You’re in the relationship but there is no space and respect for you. You’re considered a ZERO. No relationship can survive without respect. It is based on a give and take policy, if you give respect and love, in return you’ll be given love and respect. But your husband knows very well that you have a soft corner and so you cannot deny any of his demands so he can treat you the way his mood permits. 

  • He is extremely boastful by nature

Pride is one of these reasons why your husband doesn’t consider you as a part of his life. Pride can make people blind and also can make the heat numb. 

Extreme boastful nature of your husband has made him the way that he can no longer see anything except himself and his own necessity. Your husband knows very well his worth and is undoubtedly proud of himself and therefore he doesn’t even bother to give you your deserving respect. 

  • Your conjugal relationship is at stake

If it has become your regular problem that your husband is only and only nice with you in time of his need, then you must realise that your conjugal relationship is at stake. 

Conjugal relationship is built with the balance of love, care, respect, understanding and intimacy, but if everything lacks in your conjugal harmony with your husband and if it only centres around what your husband needs and how he deals with it, then you are lacking the position of a wife. There’s no understanding, no compatibility and of course no intimacy. Intimacy is not at all about being physical as some people perceive. It is a strong bond of mental and physical connection. Intimacy is more a soul to soul connection. But as you understand this totally lacks in your relationship. 

  • There is already a presence of another woman

The presence of any other women in your husband’s life can make him away from you. 

He cannot completely neglect you because you’re married to him and legally you are his wife and by heart and mind he has gone far away from the relationship with you. The place you once owned now belongs to someone else. But he needs to behave nicely with you sometimes because he too has some necessities which can be fulfilled only by you; like at the end of the day he has to return to his own shelter where you are and besides because of the society and for the sake of his reputation he cannot ignore you completely. 

Source: Getty Images

So far, I’ve given you the reasons, now let me tell you the way of dealing with it..

How to deal with your husband only nice to you when he wants something

To deal with this problem you need to be strict yourself. Don’t let your husband do whatever he wants to do with your emotions. 

Emotions have greater importance in life and if this kind of behaviour of your husband gets repeated with you then you too know yourself that mentally you will get sick and drowned. Don’t let yourself be sick for someone who does not even care. 

You have to make him realise your value. And for that you have to learn to say NO. Don’t keep on fulfilling all his personal necessities. Make him realise that you’re one of those pillars of his life which helps him to stand still. Wives have importance and they deserve respect more than any other thing.

Don’t allow him to hurt your self-esteem everytime. For everything you have to understand your own worth. Start respecting yourself and find your own value. Live your own life and snow your husband, you’re no less than him in any sphere.

If you respect yourself, no one can hurt your self-esteem. 

Now, there’s also a question which often arises in women’s minds: How do you know your husband doesn’t value you?

Let’s talk about that also…

How do you know your husband doesn’t value you?

A simple answer to this question is that you will know by observing his behaviour towards you. 

If your husband doesn’t value you anymore he will act individually in every sphere. He will not bother to ask anything. You will feel neglected. He doesn’t take care of you. He never asks you if you are well or not, if you’ve eaten or not. But he continues to do all his work. 

Whenever you want to talk to him about the relationship, about how you feel, he will avoid you. All these things mean that you’re not valued anymore. 

Source: Getty Images

Frequently asked Questions (FAQs) – Husband is only nice when he wants something.

My husband wants everything his way.

This shows his extreme dominating nature. He doesn’t consider you as anything. There is a notion of inferiority and superiority within his mind. He considers you as an inferior part of his life. He wants to dominate every aspect of life. 

You shouldn’t allow this anyway. Take a stand for yourself and you should. 

My husband pushes me away when I try to kiss him

This can be because he is not interested in you anymore or he wants everything according to his mood. On the other hand, it can also be the case that he is very stressed with something so he is not in the mood to do such things. 

You need to understand the reason for his behaviour. If he does this kind of things everytime, then he is making himself away from you and if he does this sometimes then it can be because of his work pressure or anything like this. 

Husband doesn’t love me but wants to stay together

If you feel that your husband doesn’t love you but wants to stay together then he is doing this just to keep his good reputation intact. He cannot leave you because that will hamper his good will. 

He ignores me until he wants something.

This is also a kind of self-centered attitude. This behaviour shows no love and respect for you. And if he ignores you completely until he wants something you should do the same to make him realise how does it feel when your loved one ignores you. 

Husband constantly wants affection.

There is nothing unnatural in this behaviour. When a person constantly wants affection that means he is very lonely within. Give him the love, care he wants. Treat him like a child because that will help him to get rid of his loneliness. 


Relationship can never be based on self-interest. People come closer and live together because they love each other. No one sees his personal benefits when he is in love. 

It’s a request to all the husbands out there who are reading this article, please give your wives love and respect. Don’t find your own profit everywhere. Love is the greatest achievement in life. Everyone knows it’s much difficult to find true love and you have find one then please don’t ignore that. 

Live happily. 

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