I’m going to give you some information on how to make your boyfriend feel comfortable talking to you about his emotions, and how to avoid situations where he might get angry with you.
How to make him comfortable?
This is actually pretty simple. You just need to know what his triggers are and learn to recognize the warning signs. If you notice that he starts getting angry whenever he talks about his feelings, then you should stop talking to him until he calms down. Remember, this is not a punishment! He’s just trying to protect himself. Just let him calm down, and then go back to talking to him when he feels better.
The best way to avoid his anger is to try to understand his triggers. When he gets really upset, ask him if anything happened recently that could have triggered this reaction. Maybe he had a bad day at work, maybe he broke something, or maybe someone was mean to him. Once he tells you what happened, you’ll be able to figure out what makes him angry. Then you just need to avoid doing those things.
If he’s mad at you because he thinks you’re ignoring him, don’t do that anymore. Tell him you want to pay attention to him, and tell him what you’re feeling right now. That way, he knows you care about him, and that you respect him enough to share your feelings.
By avoiding his triggers, you won’t have any problems with his anger. Try to keep conversations focused on positive topics, and avoid negative ones. Don’t criticize or judge him, and don’t argue with him. He doesn’t need that right now. Keep yourself safe, and help him get over whatever it is that’s upsetting him.
After doing all these things make every effort to make this relationship worth it if they are not reflecting in a way you want. then, It seems like he isn’t always enhancing your happiness, and having an advantageous effect, so then, take a look at that, and understand that his feelings and moves are also not your duty.
Remember, They cannot make you satisfied, they could only beautify your happiness.
Do things without him. Make different plans. Be willing to permit him to join you if he wishes to, however, do not beg him to, nor be indignant if he doesn’t. Enjoy your life and remember the fact that your happiness is within your strength to acquire. You deserve a person intending to respect your personality and decorate your life. Don’t accept less. Make him crave for you if you don’t know how to then Read my how to make him crave for you.
Why does he gets angry when I convey my feelings?
- He’s not right for me
Your partner may seem perfect at first glance, but if he doesn’t understand what makes you happy, then he’s just not right for you. Try explaining how much you love him to him and ask him to express his own feelings. If he’s not sure of what he wants, try asking what he likes about you. You might have to repeat this conversation several times until he understands that getting angry when you share your true feelings is unacceptable.
- We don’t get along
If your relationship becomes stagnant and neither of you feels like making any changes, then it could be time to call it quits. When you’re unhappy together, it’s hard to be romantic. Make sure to discuss your problems and find solutions together. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of being miserable while you wait around for someone else to make things right.
- We’re incompatible
Sometimes people simply aren’t compatible with each other. There’s nothing wrong with either person; they just need to find their ideal match somewhere else. If you think that you’re still in love with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you shouldn’t force yourself to stay in a toxic situation. If he or she isn’t interested in continuing the relationship, then let them go. It’s best to leave before you end up hurting yourself.
- He/she doesn’t want kids
You should never pressure anyone into having children if they don’t want to. Men and women who don’t want kids don’t always realize that they’ll regret it later. If you really care about someone, you won’t want to put them through an experience that will cause them pain. Your boyfriend or girlfriend might not even know that you’ve been feeling depressed without them.
- We’re both going through rough patches
Just because you two are currently experiencing some difficult times, that doesn’t mean that your relationship is over. If you truly believe that you can pull through anything together, then you should probably give it a second chance. If your relationship is already broken beyond repair, then you should walk away now. It’s better to be alone than to continue to hurt yourself.
- He/She has no respect
Respect is something that everyone deserves, but only those who deserve it get it. Respect comes from a mutual agreement between two individuals. If you’re constantly receiving disrespect from your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you should consider ending the relationship. Respect goes both ways, so if you don’t show your partner enough respect, then he or she won’t return yours.
- He/She doesn’t treat me well
When you’re in a relationship, you expect your partner to take care of you. If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t do their fair share of taking care of you, then you should move on. Even though you’re upset, you should tell him or her that you need space and that you want to be treated like a queen. If he or she continues to ignore you, then you should walk out rather than sit back and watch your relationship crumble.
How regularly do you need to communicate about feelings?
The relationship is all about sharing your love, pain, happiness and emotions with each other.
How regularly do you need to communicate about your feelings? The answer is simple: whenever you need a listener for emotions to burst out, you must communicate with your boyfriend.
I would say weekly is the best way to go about communicating with your partner about how you feel. When you speak daily, it can lead to arguments and misunderstandings. You’re not able to think clearly and understand each other’s point of view. If you have a regular schedule where you talk once a week, then you won’t end up getting into unnecessary arguments over petty things.
If you find yourself constantly arguing over small issues, then I suggest talking less often.
If he is not supporting you in your worst then he can’t be the best man for you.
Let’s in your relationship you are not having any problems but that doesn’t mean you both will stop communicating.
Or if you are both busy with your work so you will stop communicating.
Or you both are in a long-distance relationship so we will talk less.
That is not the solution to your communication problem.
You both should manage time no matter how busy you are every day. 10 minutes of the talk will never create a big deal.
Even if it is on a call.
You both should go on a date once a week or twice a month but going on it will never die the romance in the relationship.
Communication creates a bond that no matter if no one hears for me to listen or share but my partner is there in the end to support me.
Reasons Why People Have Problems in relationship
People have problems because they lack self-awareness. They cannot identify what kind of emotions they are having or how they affect their behaviour. Many people who suffer from mental disorders do not realize that they have any emotional issues until they seek help. Mental disorders are caused by many factors. Below are some examples of reasons why people have problems:
a) Unclear values
b) Poor coping skills
c) Disorganized thinking
d) Lack of motivation
e) Low self-esteem
f) Anger management difficulties
g) Anxiety disorder
Why do we need to speak about our feelings?
Why do we need to talk about feelings? Why do we need to address our problems? What happens if we don’t address them? How can we solve our problems? These are questions that many people ask themselves at some point in their lives. If we can understand the answer to these questions, then we would have a much easier time dealing with our problems. However, not everyone knows what they want in life and how to achieve it. So, let’s find out. How can we solve our problem? Let’s find out.
I’m now not positive how you can have an intimate, relaxed, supportive relationship with someone without sharing emotions.
By letting humans in and being prone, we permit ourselves to be visible and heard.
Those are critical and primary human needs that most people have.
Couples that aren’t in a position to talk about their emotions in optimistic methods frequently have less intercourse, more fights, melancholic connection, anxiety, substance misuse…the listing goes on.
However, by being quietly robust in your technique to your boyfriend’s anger, you can set the tone for a greater respectful, productive, and wholesome relationship.
How to handle your furious boyfriend in this situation?
Image source: the mirror
1. Be prepared
You should never assume anything. If you think he’ll get angry, just go ahead and ask him about it beforehand. And if he says no, then don’t push it, just let it go and take care of yourself. You might want to tell him how much you appreciate his love, though.
2. Do not ever say “I’m sorry”
If you truly are sorry, apologize sincerely. But do not lie to him and say you’re sorry just to make him feel better. That would only confuse him even more. He probably won’t accept it anyway, and he might end up resenting you forever.
3. Don’t give him any free time
Let me explain what I mean here. If you plan to have sex with him, then set up a date where you both are willing to spend some quality time together. Make sure you know what you’re getting into first. Never sleep around without being ready.
4. Avoid arguments
Avoid having arguments whenever possible. Instead, try to calmly discuss things. Try to understand where the other person’s coming from and why they’re upset. After this, try to resolve the issue.
5. Keep your distance
This is extremely important. Even if you two are close friends, keep a certain amount of space between you two. Don’t hug each other, kiss each other, or touch each other in any way. Only if you are intimate shouldn’t you hold hands, cuddle, or lean on each other.
6. Don’t talk about the past
Try to avoid talking about your ex-boyfriend, especially if you think he still cares about you. If he does, then he’ll surely mention it. Just ignore it and pretend you didn’t hear it.
7. Stay away from alcohol
Alcohol is basically poison to relationships. So, if you are going out with your guy, stay clear of drinking. A lot of guys tend to act differently after a few drinks.
8. Make certain the timing is right.
Mean attitudes can seem when human beings are tired or already frustrated, so keep away from discussing issues while both man and woman are rushed or upset.
Instead, ask if you can come again to the communication when tempers have cooled and when you each have the calm internal sources to address the issue without being implied.
This tactic won’t continually work because it is every now and then hard to suppose calmly when irritated.
If it does not work, there are other methods to ensure tempers don’t expand you can cheer him up through communication if he is not allowing you face to face then do it over text.
If you don’t know the tactics of cheering him up over text you can definitely read this article from here which will best guide you in this situation on how to cheer up your boyfriend when he is sad over text.
9. Let him recognize you and apprehend he is upset.
Active listening or reflective listening is a key component of effective conversation.
Acknowledging his anger is like pouring cold water on a fire.
His anger might also wane due to the fact he can also feel extra connected to you in case you apprehend where he is coming from. Demonstrate your information and repeat what you are hearing to calm your angry boyfriend.
Be as precise as viable and keep away from the usage of silly terms like “I recognize”.
This doesn’t reveal actual knowledge and can come off as unthoughtful.
Instead, strive to say something like, “I remember that you are not doing good but I am sorry I didn’t call you again”.
Keep the focal point on your boyfriend’s anger.
Don’t flip the communication to you with the aid of saying, “I apprehend because I have felt that manner too”. Certain causes of fights can also be caused by too much involvement of you in his life.
Set a limit for you in his life. You can read this article here https://kamavibes.co/how-often-should-i-see-my-boyfriend/ to know when and how many times you should meet him.
10. Ask what he wishes from you.
Mean words and moves commonly stem from a feeling of being wronged or treated unfairly.
By asking your boyfriend what he needs from you (in a pleasant way of course), you circulate the communique from a shouting consultation to the proactive realm.
Try phraseology your response as, “What is it you need from me right now,” or “How do you spot the outcome of this in phrases of what I must do”.
11. Offer to help if you can.
If your boyfriend clearly states what he wants from you, decide whether it is something you can absolutely do or something which you are inclined to do.
By doing help, you can lessen the anger, prevent the implied behaviours, and pass the situation ahead effectively.
The support offered may vary massively.
For instance, all that may be offered by you may be an apology which is often helpful because it indicates that you accept a few faults for the altercation.
Sometimes it is not in your control to offer to assist.
For instance, if your boyfriend is indignant about being fired from his activity and is taking it out on you genuinely state, “I remember that you were irritated about being fired from your task, and I want to help you but it is no longer within my power to do so”.
Sometimes it is in your strength to provide help but you no longer pick it up. That is perfectly suited.
For instance, if your boyfriend desires you to skip work or classes to spend time with him you may say, “I’m sorry. I want to spend time with you nowadays, however, I can’t come up with the money to skip out on my responsibilities.” Avoid pronouncing “I don’t need to”.
12. Attempt to apply humour.
Humour can help to ease tense situations by transferring the moment simply lengthy enough for tempers to cool.
Make certain you are no longer making a laugh of your boyfriend as a way to just make him angrier.
Instead, intent your humour on yourself or the state of affairs.
This is more useful in relationships that are already very playful.
Each man or woman’s sense of humour is unique but strives to pronounce something playful including, “This is beyond my abilities—permit me to consult certainly one of my different personalities,” or “I’m sorry I forgot to call you. You caught me gambling with certainly one of my intellectual blocks”.
Avoid using this tactic if your boyfriend makes fun of you in a mean or hurtful manner. This may have the other effect and may open the door for extra insults.
13. Define your limits.
When setting your barriers, usually be as truthful as feasible and inform your boyfriend what behaviours will no longer be tolerated.
Look him in his eye, and show quiet energy so he will take your boundaries critically.
You can also manipulate him by pronouncing the words beforehand of time so that you feel more assured whilst the time comes.
14. Don’t permit insults or call-calling.
Insults and name-calling must be controlled as it is humiliating and isn’t a part of a healthy relationship.
While your companion insults your appearance, intelligence, evaluations, or selections, this is taken into consideration as emotional abuse.
When your boyfriend calls your name to blame everything, prevents what you are doing, looks him in the eyes, and forcefully says, “don’t ever call me that again ”.
You don’t have to answer any questions or provide proof; honestly repeat yourself until he understands.
Insults may be extraordinarily hurtful emotionally, however, they can also do long-term damage by hurting your shallowness and making you more dependent on your boyfriend.
Never blame yourself for your boyfriend’s mean phrases, and by no means begin to suppose they are actual.
For instance, in case your boyfriend calls you fat inside the warmth of controversy, don’t acquire into it.
15. Ban using curse words.
Cursing all through an issue is like waving a red flag at a bull.
it most effectively acts as a manner to build upon negative feelings.
When your boyfriend curses at you, it puts out poor strength and makes you feel ashamed and defensive.
Use “I” statements to inform your boyfriend that you will no longer accept him cursing at you for everything in his life.
16, Prohibit the usage of yelling.
Yelling most effectively brings poor communication and can often make you experience anger, scared, or protective.
However, ever so often those who are liable to anger don’t even recognize they are yelling.
Use “I” statements to outline your complications and tell your boyfriend that you will no longer take responsibility for him yelling at you.
For example, try telling him, “I can’t let you yell at me. I feel indignant whilst you yell and it isn’t efficient. I will talk to you later when we have each had a chance to communicate calmly”.
If your boyfriend denies that he yells, have a tape recorder reachable to permit him to pay attention to himself at a later time.
When playing it, calmly clarify to him that what he stated on the tape is irrelevant, and also you are better to record it so his statements are returned to him to show him how loud his extent can get.
17. Don’t permit blaming.
Blaming is inadequate as it limits communique and cuts down on the possibility of actually resolving your trouble.
When your boyfriend is angry, he can also place the blame on you, telling you how bad you are and making you feel very small.
Set your barriers and tell your boyfriend that you will now not accept blaming behaviours.
You can do this by using the use of “I” statements.
Use “I” statements to inform your boyfriend how you sense when he shifts all of the blame on you.
For instance, you can convey, “I am disappointed while you accuse me of all of our problems”.
Then, use an “I” word in your sentence to tell your boyfriend that blame is now not allowed.
For instance, say, “I don’t think accusing each other will enable us to resolve our situation. I can now not allow you to blame me for making you indignant”.
18. Reframe the anger.
Your brain can get rid of annoying alerts that cause bad feelings with the aid of considering your boyfriend’s anger in some other light.
Try to understand yourself, “He has to be having a terrible day today”.
By consciously taking a restricted impression of the anger, you could choose to change your emotional response and avoid turning it into bad as well.
It is not constantly easy to experience empathy for a person who is being suggestive and indignant, but with the aid of deciding to reframe their anger, you keep yourself from turning defensive.
Try declaring phrases openly together with “He is doing the best he can,” or “This is simply the manner he copes”.
This way, you don’t sense as in case you are responsible for the difficulty.
Just the fact you reframe his anger does now not mean that you need to accept it.
Once you understand which you are not responsible for, discover healthful approaches to address it consisting of putting limitations or on foot away till a later time.
19. Watch your level of anger.
When your boyfriend is mean and irritated he is able to cause you to emerge as mad as pleasingly without any effort.
Without noticing it, you may start to “egg on” or “nitpick” at your boyfriend, similarly frightening him.
Pay attention to your language and nonverbal language to make sure you aren’t projecting your anger onto your boyfriend.
Avoid statements that begin with “You continually,” and avoid the use of objection and sarcasm regarding your boyfriend’s behaviour.
These statements are primarily based on anger and blame and the none troubling manner of your relationship.
Try making a list of your boyfriend’s irritation (or matters that make him dissatisfied) and have a look at how your behaviour sets him off.
Don’t feed on his or your anger.
Make a conscientious effort to not push his buttons on reason.
19. Don’t convey like you are blaming him
Use I statements to take the burden for your emotions and behaviours without making your boyfriend feel as if you are blaming him.
Talk about your feelings in a nice manner. Your emotions should be in control while using the statements that must include “I feel hurt sometimes whilst your suggestions matter to me”.
Avoid sentences that begin with “You constantly…” as it is able to come off in a blaming way.
Practice using “I” statements again and again in instances while you aren’t indignant so it becomes natural and part of your vocabulary in the relationship.
By sharing your emotions in this way, you now will not have trouble expressing your emotions to your boyfriend. On the other hand, it will create better intimacy.
This method can help to diffuse anger and pass in the direction of specializing in what you want to occur, in place of toiling in hurtful phrases in your relationship.
Wrapping it up
Healthy relationships need to be enjoyable.
Your boyfriend must never make you feel bad about who you are, and you should in no way be afraid to express who you are.
This is an indication of emotional abuse.
Physical or verbal abuse is by no means okay.
If you are in an abusive relationship, search for help immediately.
Don’t permit anger to consume inside or it will boil over and burst things out like a pressure cooker.
Make your boyfriend ethically control his anger and constantly recognise that it is okay to comply with disagreements in a relationship.