Should I Be Upset That My Husband Watches Porn?

Should I be upset that my husband watches porn? You should not if and only if he is doing that once in a while, that is he is not addicted to watching porn. 

Watching porn is normal. Some couples watch porn together in bed but if he is regular in watching porn and he is having erections and orgasms problems with you in bed then it is time to talk to him. 

These are the problems when he is addicted to porn and can have orgasm only by watching porn and not with you. 

Marriage doesn’t mean making babies and taking responsibility for the relations you both are having. It is about pleasure too, how much you enjoy each other in bed. Read my how you can make your husband shake in bed! 

If your sex like is not exciting then there will be fights and quarrelling between you two. So it is better to communicate with him about what you are feeling and how you have been affected by him watching porn. 

Why should I be upset about it? 

My husband watches porn I will definitely be upset about it because what I feel is betrayed, not enough for him, not satisfying his pleasure and his tiredness in bed with me! 

Though I live with him we are married and he watches porn isn’t that something which can completely turn off a wife? 

So I guess it is obviously a reason to be upset about it.

In marriage, women feel like they are not attractive anymore to their husband or he is not feeling that romance with her or her is not enough for him. 

Husbands Watching porn can lead to unhealthy relationships which will definitely upset their wives. So it gives us a reason to be upset. 

But another thing that you should consider is

You should not be upset if your partner watches pornography. Pornography is a tool of communication between partners. No matter how much you may dislike what they watch, you cannot control their actions or their thoughts. You need to learn to accept them for who they are.

What does watching porn have to do with my marriage?

Pornography doesn’t just affect men; women are affected too. Watching pornography affects both genders differently. Women tend to get aroused while watching pornography, and many times, find themselves thinking about sex later on. Men often masturbate after watching pornography, and sometimes become fixated on sexual fantasies. Both of these scenarios create problems in relationships.

How could watching porn possibly hurt our relationship?

Watching pornography shows a lack of respect towards yourself. Your spouse is telling you that he/she believes that you are less than a man/woman and that you should act like one. If you feel that you are being treated poorly, then you should speak to him/her about it. Also, if you feel that you are becoming obsessed with sex, talk to your doctor.

Why does my husband watch porn? 

Why do men watch porn? 

It’s not just to keep themselves entertained. It’s to be able to get off while being alone, without having to deal with women. Men want to have sex with women they know nothing about, women who don’t complain, women who are willing to make their men feel special. These women are not out looking for love; they’re out looking for a good time. 

If you ever find yourself married to a woman who is always complaining about her job or her family, or how she doesn’t understand you, then you need to ask yourself if maybe she’s really doing it for attention, or if she’s really interested in you at all. You might think you’re making her happy, but you’re probably just keeping her quiet. Women who are unhappy tend to turn to porn.

Women, listen up! Porn isn’t going anywhere. And neither are you. So what should you do instead? 

Well, first of all, realize that it’s okay to talk to him about these things. He likes you enough to let you know he’s watching those videos. He wants you to be comfortable around him, so tell him what you’re feeling. Second, take charge. Don’t let him dictate what you watch. Find some movies that you both enjoy and start taking turns watching them together. Third, try talking to him about his habits. Maybe he says he only watches porn for fun, but you know differently. 

Ask him questions about his favourite scenes, and encourage him to share his fantasies with you. Fourth, remember that you are worth something more than a quick thrill. You deserve respect and affection. You don’t owe him anything, and even if you do, you shouldn’t give it to him unless he earns it. As long as he treats you right, you won’t have to worry about him watching porn again. He’ll stop before he hurts you.

Let’s consider the few points that lead him to watch porn

Your husband is addicted to porn

Have you ever asked him about since, when he is watching porn? If not then ask him! If he has been watching porn since childhood then he is definitely addicted to it and porn has done serious mental damage to his brain. 

Erecting by watching porn is not something which gives him pleasure or orgasm and it never could be because it is totally a different thing it is watching and feeling simultaneously. It is a way of setting a mood. 

And if he is addicted to porn you should be upset about it because when a man watches porn it damages the person through his mental health and so does his relationships and marriage so you should definitely be upset about it. 

As it interrupts his daily life. Some doctors consider it a hypersexual disorder. 

If you are confused about whether he is addicted to porn or not or he is not giving you an accurate answer about his addiction then you can look for this behaviour in him that he is not satisfied with in bed and general life. He is taking the risk to watch porn even while doing work. 

It’s easy

It’s a lot easier for guys to watch porn than it is to talk to someone about their feelings. There’s no awkwardness involved, it’s just a click of a button away. You can have sex whenever you want and with whoever you want. No one will judge you, no one will try to change you, and no one will tell you how to live your life. That’s the beauty of porn.

It helps your husband to sleep faster

Ejaculation helps men to sleep faster, maybe that is why your husband watches porn to ejaculate and sleep faster. 

Ejaculation on a regular basis can make a man weak and tired and so in bed with you. 

Ejaculation is done when vasopressin and Oxytocin are released in the body of men while watching porn resulting in making them tired and helping them sleep faster. 

And since men have more muscle mass as compared to women which makes their muscles tired. But as you know it makes him weak. Apparently, he will not satisfy you in bed. 

So take the solution for this you need to communicate with him about the consequences of him watching porn. 

It’s free!

I think this is the biggest selling point of porn for men. You can download videos onto your computer or tablet and watch them for free. All you need to do is search the internet and you’ll find tons of porn sites to choose from. Even if you don’t subscribe to a site, you still get access to tons of content for free. No subscription fees, no hidden charges, nothing. Just pure entertainment.

Watching porn helps your husband to relax 

Watching porn helps men to ejaculate. This releases a happy hormone called oxytocin which makes him release his stress and relax. 

Ever wondered what the cause behind watching porn is to feel relaxed? Is he going through stress or workloads? Or is he having high blood pressure? 

Evaluating while watching porn also helps men to lower their blood pressure and read good chemicals to their brains. 

If certainly, these are the causes behind him watching porn. Then there is a lack of communication between you two. 

And you should probably support him and help him whatever the issue he is facing. 

Lack of romance between you two

Lack of romance between couples is common after having babies or after the end of the honeymoon period. 

Is the love between you two tired? 

Where has that excitement and thrilling romance gone?

Sometimes there is a lack of effort between the couples for each other and maybe you both should do little things to impress each other, sometimes little effort in a marriage can give you a huge return. 

It is obvious when your marriage is boring who won’t watch porn? 

I mean how will your partner satisfy his pleasurable desires?

So by ejaculating your partner is surviving this marriage and you should definitely be upset about it, 

Start your day by giving him a flirty compliment in the morning. This ejects the happy hormones in our bodies. 

Happy hormones are equal to a good mood and a good mood is equal to the need for sexual pleasure which is again equal to a happy you. 

Send him naughty phrases when he is out or at work. Make the text a little tempting. 

No matter how many years will pass in your marriage or how old you get, make sure that the spice in your relationship never gets old. 

It makes him feel good

Porn is fun, exciting, and adventurous. It lets him forget about everything else going on in his life and focus only on having fun. It’s a release, something that he can enjoy without feeling guilty or ashamed about. Porn gives him a sense of power and independence, letting him know that he isn’t just a piece of meat to be used at a woman’s discretion. So he’ll always be looking for ways to keep getting his fix.

You reject him for his sexual pleasure 

When you reject your husband’s sexual desires the only way for him is porn to meet his pleasurable needs.

It is okay sometimes when you are not in a mood but not always, if you don’t like doing sex with him then communicate your feelings. 

Hanging on the communication will not work then he will definitely watch porn because then it will be completely turned off for him and his mood.  

You should know that and it is a sexual fact when you deny constantly for sex the guy will be no more in love with you. After all, it is called lovemaking in marriage. 

Your husband is exploring his fantasies 

Your husband is into exploring fantasies and maybe you are not. Porn is something which provides you with a great variety of videos with different categories and their subcategories. 

There is an endless way of exploring fantasies. 

And if your boyfriend is the adventurous kind he is definitely watching porn for his sexual fantasies. 

And there’s nothing that might be wrong with it after all you are the person he is going to explore with it. 

He is not cheating on you and you should help him and support him in exploring his sexual fantasies. Who wants to have that boring sex on the same bed and in the same position every time? 

Obviously, he can not change his partner but he can change the positions and places. 

He wants attention

He’s just like any guy out there. When he doesn’t get enough attention he’ll go look elsewhere. When his wife shows her love and affection for him he feels loved, appreciated, and wanted. If she stops showing those things then he knows what he needs to do to make sure he gets some attention. Porn is the same way. Guys need their fix, they don’t want to be alone, and if you’re not giving them the attention they crave then they’ll seek it elsewhere. And that’s where they find it.

He is ashamed of his fantasies 

Some guys are ashamed of their sexual fantasies. They are afraid of exploring those fantasies so they watch porn and satisfy their needs. 

Here are the sexual fantasies can be the fantasies which can make them lose control over their wife while having sex with your wife. 

The increase in the variety of porn can really affect men’s expectations if they are constantly watching. 

This makes them lose control over their conscious mind. The men who are addicted to porn are considered a heterosexual man. 

Porn started out destroying their sense of liberation while men experienced a lack of association over their use of porn in their daily life, which underpinned the central issue of their overuse of watching porn. 

Over time, the guys recognized that porn had led to having unrealistic expectancies whilst it came to intercourse and sexuality, the way they considered ladies, and led to lessened sexual function.

So if your husband watches porn because he is ashamed of him losing control over you or having brutal sexual fantasies. 

You both can seek counselling while consulting. 

As it is better than having an unhealthy or unsatisfied marriage. 

The side effects of watching porn can be very toxic for both of you. 

Feeling always tired may also consume his time for you and your children. 

The porn addiction can also make him irritating and arrogant over time because what we see more often goes to our subconscious minds. 

What should I do about it? 

Communicate with your husband 

Your husband watches porn and you feel upset about it. What you can do is to communicate with him. Communicate with a fresh mindset and keep Calm to your rushing hormones over him.

Understand his point of view on why he watches porn. 

Asking him calmly will help him to get open with you about why he is watching porn when you are with him on the same bed. 

Although whatever he answers you don’t be judgemental of him, be his friend and hear obediently what he feels and why he watches porn. Be compassionate when you are listening and ask him questions curiously not angrily. 

There is no need of threatening him and if he knows that you know he watches porn and you are upset about it he is going to hide things so it is necessary to tell him that “it is fine if you watch porn but when I am with you it is not necessary to watch” or “is there a problem with me? That is why you watch porn more often” or “am I not satisfying you?”  Whatever the problem is, tell him you are ready to change yourself if he is not feeling satisfied with you. 

Whatever you communicate with him don’t let the conversation about your personal grudges be curious and open-ended questions. Don’t blame him for whatever he answers after all it is all about understanding. 

If he feels relaxed to tell then he will definitely. Let him share and be emphatic about it and it is your concern to make him relax and open up about why he watches porn. 

Seek a counselling 

If both of you can’t get to the solution. It is not wrong to consult a third party about your relationship. If you do not, your marriage will continue to be in danger because of him watching porn. 

On the other hand, you both will get tired of each other and he will not be able to satisfy you both physically and mentally then you will continue to be upset about why your husband watches porn. 

When you counsel your marriage issue with a great professional counsellor it will be open and non-judgemental and you are more likely to unravel the puzzle in your marriage. 

Understanding each other can help both of you to satisfy your own and your partner’s needs without hurting each other. 

It is better to feel safe in marriage rather than being threatened by porn. 

Is there something else I can do to improve our relationship?

Yes. Talk to each other. Share your feelings and opinions openly with your mate. Sometimes, we don’t know that we are hurting someone until they tell us. That person may not even realize that they are feeling the way they are feeling at the moment. Talking to each other can help clear up misunderstandings. It can also prevent future problems.

Do you think that my husband really likes porn?

No. He probably thinks that he does. Or maybe he only pretends to enjoy it. Either way, he isn’t talking to you about his true feelings. So, you can either assume that he is lying, or you can assume that he truly enjoys watching porn. Either way, you won’t know unless you ask him.

My husband says that he doesn’t watch porn. What should I believe?

He may say that he doesn’t watch porn, but he still watches it. That is why you need to ask him about it. If he tells you that he doesn’t watch it, then you can trust him. But if he lies to you, then you need to confront him. Ask him why he watches it.

Wrapping it up

A guy watching porn can seriously harm the connection and emotional intimacy a marriage needs to have to keep their marriage life blissful.

It is no longer uncommon for a girl to experience being insufficient and devalued by her partner when he views porn.

Porn can also make a wife insecure, causing her to move away from her husband and become disengaged from their intercourse lifestyles.

And although guys observe porn for some duration more frequently than girls, some girls watch porn routinely as well. 

The manner of porn and reasons for looking can also vary for ladies, but the bad results of watching it on their relationship and marriage life may be equal.

Making control over every addiction is not bad. High addiction can cause problems in your marriage life. Presently you are being upset by him watching porn. Further, if your family grows then they will.